I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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