That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
