Me too!
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
