You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
