I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
