i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
