She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
