would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
