Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
