I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Randomize
