My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
not ubering you a puppy
Dick very happy bro
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
