dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
