So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
