This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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