I wish I could teleport
I wanna passion pit in your ass
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
