I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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