Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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