just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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