super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
