Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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