it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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