Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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