this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
