I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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