The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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