Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
