you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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