Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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