If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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