She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
