Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
farters have to be the big spoon...
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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