And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
