I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
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