ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
