I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
