just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
wow bdsm is so cute
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
