i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
