it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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