ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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