i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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