Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
