Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
