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the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
