I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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