I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
