Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
