I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
There r osticjed everywhere
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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