once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
