Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
did i walk over a car last night?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
