no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
