like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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