Porn is love you can see.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
