i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
