i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You're like the curious george of whores
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize